i have never been so afraid of you
but miss you so much at the same time
i miss how excited you used to be about us
how attentive and gentle you were
i miss how passionate we were

i hate the idea of getting used to love
such a magical thing should never be taken for granted
should never die down
i hate putting each other through pain
silence is so torturous
it tears me up inside

i have learned to cherish you
to carry you in my mind as something fragile

i am still afraid of you
i hide in the shadows
i bury myself in the clouds

but i miss you
i really do